Thanks for sharing John, communication is KEY to any service or business! (or relaitonship for that matter)

This entire exercise could cost more than you bargained for. No matter what funeral cover says, it always lands up costing you more than you anticipated or expected.

My Mother passed on in July 2011, and this is what we did according to Her wishes.

I chose the least expensive coffin. Not out of disrespect for my Mother, quite the opposite. She would have had a heart attack if I chose the expensive one.
We refused a service at the funeral home, opting for one on the farm, my Mothers most loved place on earth.
I dressed my Mother in one of her favourite outfits.
We chose to have a cremation. Well Mommy did. She wanted to be cremated and her ashes put under the willow tree on the farm.
This was the least expensive and heart sore route to go, and it is what Mommy wanted.

Then my sister chose a spot under my Mothers favourite tree, and I took the ashes to Natal.
The minister in Natal, who knew my mother, was asked to officiate at her memorial service.
He was told that he was not to speak longer than 5 minutes. He timed himself, and 5 minutes it was.
This was not about religion, it was about a loved one and the impact she had on so many people.

When he has finished, I stood up and spoke, then my sister did, and then the floor was open to the rest of the family and friends who attended her Service, a lot of whom we had never met. What a revelation! Instead of the tears of sorrow, there were tears of joy and good memories and camaraderie, brought together by the death of a loved one. It was a true celebration of my Mother’s life. Those she touched spoke about her and how she had impacted on them during their lives. We learned a lot about my Mother that day, things we might otherwise never would have known. Memories we now cherish.
What followed was an afternoon of everyone remembering something about Mommy. We laughed and cried at some of the stories. Everyone had something to say about my Mother. She was well loved by all that knew her. Then we ate, everybody contributed something, and the guests left.

When only the family remained, Mommy’s ashes were put into a prepared hole under her tree, and a memorial note was placed on a stone, a stone found on the farm, this was then leaned against the tree. It is gone now, but the words remain forever in our hearts.

Be humbled,
For within these trees and blessed grounds,
Dwell the Love, Hope, Dreams, and Aspirations
Of a true friend and Mother.

Everyone said it was the most beautiful service they had ever attended. The minister cost us R300, while the entire cost including coffin and cremation was R11,000. Such a small price to pay for something so wonderful..

The reason for a service, is to remember our friends and loved ones, not to spend a fortune on giving them a funeral that is going to take us years to pay off, or that we cannot afford. Our loved ones would not have wanted that.

We have our own crematory on site and the biggest asset it brings is control. We are able to offer the families an open casket visitation, do the cremation overnight, and then have a closed casket (urn in the casket) service the next day…complete with procession to the cemetery. After everyone leaves the cemetery, we move the casket aside and bury the urn. This allows families to complete the “funeral rituals” that they want and need.